Friday, May 23, 2008

Goodbyes

Today I took apart my Milli, cleaned her thoroughly, and got ready to say goodbye.

We (the machine and I) are going on a road trip tomorrow to Grand Forks to deliver her to her new home.

I really thought I was ready for this, but when I turned her off for the last time (and thought to myself, "this is the last time") my throat closed a little, and I felt tears well up. It really is the end of an era in my life, in a big way. Somehow it is comforting and fitting that I finished with a customer quilt - a friend of our family's.

I have always been struck by the emphasis we (as a culture) put on 'firsts'. This is especially true when our children are little: their first steps, first words, first day of school, first day of college, first job.....

but we don't acknowledge the 'lasts'.
The last time I sang my boys to sleep, for instance. I wish I could remember that.

It's been a few weeks of acknowledging 'last times'. Now that we are seriously moving toward building on our new property I've been very aware of our 'last times'. On Sunday of the past weekend the boys, DH and I flew a kite in the big field behind our house. As I sat on the grass next to my fella watching the kids run around, bright Chinese kite up in the big, blue sky, I thought to myself, "we may never do this again, here". The day was gorgeous, sunny and windy- the perfect day to fly a kite, to make a memory.

I hope you remember the good 'lasts', the ones that make your heart swell. The bad 'lasts' can be lost to memory - good riddance, and all that - let's take all the good endings and move forward into our new beginnings.

Yours, humbly,

(as one door closes and another opens)

Lisa

7 comments:

Vicki W said...

You'll be better once you see Millie in her new home with her excited new owner. You have so many great things ahead of you!

Quilt Pixie said...

closure is important -- not being one that looks back much, rememebring the "lasts" isn't what does it, but I can imagine for many its does.... closure of an era/time/relationship for me requires "making sense" of it and its role in my life, so I can let it go and move on to the new experience wholeheartedly :-) Hope the building goes well...

dot said...

It is a loss but the new chapter in your life will be exciting. I did not realize you were selling and was a bit surprised to read this post. Enjoy your new adventure.

Smiles! Becca said...

((((hugs))) Think of all the wonderful memories that will have in your new adventure.

Debra said...

I don't do goodbyes very well at all. I am tearing up just thinking of you letting go of your longarm. But, I do understand the need to move onto other adventures. It's hard to predict the future but I am sure you will make it what you want it to be. And, if need be, there will probably be another longarm there too. Building your new house will be all time-consuming for a good long while anyway.

Quilt Nut said...

oh Lisa, that must have been so hard!

CONNIE W said...

I'm selling my Millie very soon and I suppose I will experience what you described. But knowing that it is being purchased by a person who will love it and use it well and make many quilts is a good thing. I am finishing up the quilts orders I had left to do and then my Millie will be moved.